Old Dog, New tricks

There are two separate issues I need to address regarding cell phones.  First, the habits of use.  Second the necessity of use.  I'll start with the first and do my griping.  

When cell phones came on the scene, it wasn't surprising that teenagers became addicted to the novelty of instant social connection at their fingertips.  Phones became another appendage.  And though the novelty may have worn off somewhat, new gimmicks and apps have only made phones more magnetic to teens.  This presents an ongoing issue for parents.  I admire those who have strict rules about no phones at the dinner table and other times when human interaction should be the priority.  

But I was always astonished (and annoyed) by how enthralled and carried away some adults were with cell phones.  They became like teenagers, enslaved by their sophisticated new toys.  And I was continually shocked how cell phones seemed to give license to an absurd perception of self-importance.  I hope I never give the impression that I consider my life/calls more important than my companion at the time.  Yes, all of us have a few important calls we can't miss, but how many of us are running corporations or governments and truly have crucial calls coming in regularly?  

The most pervasive compulsion I see in cell phone use is the need to have your phone face-up on a surface next to you at all times.  Many can't resist its persistent pull and have an almost Pavlovian response.  I'll be in mid-conversation with someone, I'll see their attention break, going from me to the text ding or vibrating phone each time it does.  There's a shift as they mentally register the caller (and sometimes the first words of the text).  They stop talking or listening, and by then they've lost the thread of our conversation.  Even if they don't respond to the call, the interruption is complete.  

And for some reason, people seem to think texting in front of others isn't as rude as making or taking a phone call.  I've been at a table where several people are texting (because when one starts that seems to give permission to others to do the same) as if no one else is sitting across from them expecting conversation.    

The surprising thing to me is that some of the worst offenders are otherwise considerate people.  They've lost perspective and assume we're all equally obsessed.  It's like they're under a spell--losing all sense of propriety and conventional etiquette.  For some reason they believe that cell phones in our lives make exception to basic courtesies.  But polite behavior and good manners never change.  

Now that that's off my chest, let me discuss the need (or not) to keep cell phones at hand.                                                                                                            I'm the first to admit it's extraordinarily convenient to be able to keep up with friends and family and conduct daily business instantaneously by cell phone.  But those of us who were adults before the 80's spent our lives without--not knowing where everyone was and what they were thinking every minute of the day.  And somehow life went on.  Up to this point, I've prided myself in not being swept up in the dictated rules and routines of accessibility.  I didn't think I needed constant contact--if I didn't speak with someone daily before, why would I need to now?  And I resolutely declared "I'm entitled to be unreachable at times."  

HOWEVER, I've reconsidered.  Being a stubborn 70+ year old, holding on to an old lifestyle on principle, is not necessarily viable.  Maybe I do need to keep up with the times and the "new norms" as a friend put it.  I was firmly reminded by my daughter and son-in-law that, if you have children or aging parents, if you're babysitting or dog sitting, you need to keep your phone with you at all times.  That hit a very sensible note and I've acquiesced.  I just ask for 3-hours latitude in accessibility (during movies, meals, weddings and funerals) before anger or panic sets in, which I think is a reasonable compromise.  And I would hope that those trying to get hold of me will consider the actual urgency of their need for immediate contact if I don't respond right away.  I will do better, but it's hard for this old dog to learn new tricks!