Mindset

How many age milestones do we get in our lives?  A lot if we’re lucky!  75 is a big one for me to wrap my head around, because the next big one will be 80, and that’s turning a huge mental corner!  And yes, health-wise 80 may be 'the new 70'--but healthy and vibrant or not--there’s no denying 80 is categorically 'old'!  How did I suddenly get here?!  

Don’t misunderstand, getting older is a privilege I don’t take lightly.  I’m thrilled to be creeping up on my 80s--I wouldn’t want it any other way.  It definitely beats the alternative!  So if we can agree on that, and that age is simply the inevitability of living, then it's a waste of time to not enjoy the ride.  

Looking "good for your age" is not a bad thing--we've all seen many who don't.  Fighting the outward signs of aging is an uphill battle--and while I'm always looking for the next miracle elixir--I choose not to buy into the emotional aspect.  I'm lucky to have lived long enough to have my laughter etched on my face.  I've earned every wrinkle; they represents experience and are reminders of where I’ve been and that I came through wiser and stronger.  I'd like to believe an inner well-being shows as we age, a gracious softness--perhaps serenity--deeper than the lines.  

Self-love is the buzzword, but I think self-acceptance is more powerful.  At 75 I live on our own terms, not waiting for anyone or anything to add relevance, value or meaning to my life.  I have no guilt or regrets--I've learned from my mistakes and that's all I can hope for.  I no longer have self-doubt and insecurities; I don't question or second-guess myself any more.  I've finally arrived at a hard-won confidence and comfort in my own skin.  And it's a relief to stop caring what people think.  As Ann Landers so perfectly put it, "At age 20 we worry about what others think of us.  At 40, we don’t care what they think of us.  At 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all."  

Aging should be comfortable, relaxing and comes with a certain freedom.  Getting older brings a refined perspective on what actually matters.  The hindsight and insight that come with maturity give clarity--I now know who I am, what I want and what I don’t want in my life.  This is what I know:  

o   I try to look decent every day.  It makes me feel good about myself.  But 'comfort' is my mantra--and I’m willing to sacrifice high style to achieve it--I no longer wear mascara, heels or underwire bras. 

o   These days I only do what I want to do.  I won't be intimidated into saying 'yes' when I want to say 'no'.  Crowds, hot-weather locations, less-than-comfortable social situations are off my list.   If I won't enjoy it, I don't do it.  

o   I love living alone.  I like having my space, the way I want it.  But more than that, I like being alone.  I'm never lonely.  I have no problem filling my time or my thoughts.  I’m my own best company!  ;)  

o   I enjoy traveling alone.  I plan my trips exactly the way I want them.  Alone I don’t have to make compromises to accommodate others.  And I like having my own hotel room--a very nice hotel room!

o   I surround myself with what I love: Keepsakes and mementos, pets and nature, art and things I find beautiful.  And family makes it all worthwhile.

o   I never want to get too tired or jaded to enjoy holidays and entertaining.  They continue to provide me with joy--and that's enough.

o   I try to be present.  I make an effort to appreciate the small things and truly experience the moments in my life.  ‘Live in the moment' is a cliché for a reason.  

o   I believe you have to put yourself out there.  No one’s clambering at my door for my company.  So I’m proactive in my social life.  I also accept that most of my friends are really just acquaintances, and that’s okay.

o   I’m too old to have drama in my life.  I don’t want to be around negativity or complainers.  I choose only to be around cheerful people who add to my life in positive ways.

o   I cherish my good health (and good genes) and know the only person responsible for maintaining it is me!   

o   I think curiosity and creativity keep our minds active and ourselves motivated.  As someone cleverly observed, "An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s."

o   I know I am older, I may look older, but the secret is NOT to think older!  A youthful outlook and a inner smile is the best antidote to getting 'old'.

o   I believe attitude is everything.  And gratitude is a close second.

Aging can be wonderful if you accept and embrace it.  It's not losing youth, it's reaching the sweet spot of life--a place of peace, ease and contentment.   It’s well worth a few wrinkles and some big numbers.  The irony is that it comes just when there's not as much time left to enjoy it!

~ 🌻 ~