All Friends are Good Friends

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. 

People dance in and out of our lives.  We may not know for how long and we may not realize the depth and impact of the relationship until it's over, but all of these people play a role in the cycle of our lives and contribute to our connection to others and growth as individuals.  

Some people come into our lives for a chapter or two.  Life has brought them to the exact place on earth where we happen to be.  We share experiences like work or raising our children.  We laugh when we need to and we're there for each other when one needs a cry.  These friends give us joy and decorate our lives with the colors of theirs.  But often it's a situational relationship and life moves on.  We've made memories, we promise to keep in touch, and maybe we will. 

If we're lucky these friend become lifelong friends.  We may have met this person in our childhood, as college roommates, or they've become our spouse.  We formed a solid foundation and have history.  They've been there (often long-distance) for most of the significant events and emotions in our lives, to be our ground-wire and support.  They are not like any other friend.  Lifelong relationships teach us life lessons.  

 

ACQUAINTANCES are all the people in our sphere.  Many are great people.  Some are casual friends who fill our lives with fun and good times.  We can enjoy and appreciate all friends, but it's wise to be realistic--recognize where you stand in terms of investment--theirs and yours. Relationships can be out of balance, with one more invested than the other.  If you sense a detached nonchalance to the relationship, you know deep down you probably can’t count on this individual in tough times.  But sometimes mutual committed grows and you become genuine friends.  Either way, it's okay.

 

TRUE FRIENDS provide quality time with good people.  They are the people we’ve chosen from all our acquaintances to establish closer relationships with, and they’re primarily what make up our social lives.  They are often friends by circumstance--but some have the potential to become long-term friends.  These friendships are solid, you're there for each other and have each other's best interests at heart.  These are our good friends. 

 

SOULMATES are our best friends and set the standard for friendship.  They may not have been around for all of our life, but they're here for the duration.  And they’re not always around on a daily basis, but when we’re together, we can pick up where we left off.  They’re genuine, trustworthy and the people we can share our deepest secrets with, without judgment.  They understand where we're coming from and how far we've come.  Time with a soulmate is like time with your favorite sibling, satisfying and comforting.  There’s a bond, understanding and love.  

If it's said that love is blind, then friendship is clairvoyant.  Having astute friendship 'vision' sometimes takes learning through trial and error.  But eventually we know the difference between acquaintances, friends, and soulmates.  And it’s good to have all three.  But not all people fall into a clear-cut friends' category.  Not necessarily good versus bad categories; it's more about commitment and expectations.    

• Love the people who treat you right--forget the ones who don't.

• You can't hang out with negative people and expect to live a positive life.
• People will treat you the way you allow them to.
• When people show you who they are, believe them.
• The more chances you give someone, the less respect they'll have for you.
• Stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't jump puddles for you.
• Some friends are givers, some are takers, it should be a two-way-street. 
• The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peace you'll find.
• Walk away from drama and people who create it. 
• Distance yourself from people who drain your energy.
• We don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• No matter how good a friend, they're going to hurt you sometime, and you must forgive them.

And finally.  Good female friends become more important as we get older.  No matter how much you love your husband and he is your anchor, no matter how much your love for your children is your foundation, you are still going to need the understanding and nurture of other women in your life, whether girlfriends, sisters or your daughter.  As time and nature work their magic upon us as women, close female friends remain the mainstays of our lives.